Serie A, Week 33: Boring, boring Serie A?

If you’re having trouble falling asleep, you might try looking for a replay of Juventus - Milan. During the first half, the only shots on target came from long range efforts, with neither side looking too concerned with the basics of the game. Like, say, putting the ball in the back of the net. Or even getting into dangerous positions that could lead to the possibility of putting the ball in the back of the net. Instead it was the referee that saw the majority of the action, managing to get himself hit by the ball three times in the first 45 minutes.

Fortunately, things got slightly more exciting in the second half, at least, for a few minutes. Kwadwo Asamoah slipped past Ignazio Abate, causing substitute goalkeeper Marco Amelia a few heart palpitations. Blinded by fear, Amelia rushed out, sliding in to take Asamoah’s legs out from under him. The referee -- this time, he managed to avoid being hit by a stray ball -- had no choice but to point to the spot.

Rather than respond immediately, as they did last week against Milan, Napoli decided to take a cutsey approach. Just after Cagliari scored, the partenopei put forth a great little maneuver, with Cavani, Hamsik, and Pandev exchanging passes. But they took just one pass too many, allowing Michael Agazzi to rescue easily. Then, in the 30th minute, another exchange of passes between Cavani ended with El Matador attempting a bicycle kick, which, of course, flew well wide of the target.

Just after the restart, the visitors decided to give Napoli a little help (perhaps they’re not Milan fans?). Hamsik’s shot deflected off Cagliari captain Davide Astori, flying into the back of the net. Wild celebrations ensued -- that is, until the referee called back the goal. Heated discussions ensued, but ultimately it was decided that Cavani, in an offside position, had not interfered with the goal and it could stand.

Destro was introduced during the break and was denied a penalty after a collision with Zanon in the box. It took the substitute just six minutes to equalise. Pescara failed to clear a corner and De Rossi’s wayward shot was turned in by Destro, who was simply in the right place at the right time.

Pelizzoli denied former teammate Totti from distance, before preventing Destro from adding to his tally with a smart reflex stop.

Handanović was left screaming at his defenders, and it was little wonder. Nevertheless, Inter would still have the last laugh (or last rueful scream) of the first half, after Schelotto was denied again. A counter-attack from the nerazzurri allowed Schelotto to drift open towards the back post, though just as he was about to pull the trigger Yohan Benalouane slid in to save Parma.

Inter’s veteran striker Tommaso Rocchi had barely been in the game, though he had an opportunity from the edge of the box just past the hour. He swivelled and struck the ball towards Mirante’s goal, though it skimmed wide without causing the Parma keeper too much worry. Handanović wasn’t completely without concern at the other end with the visitors still threatening on the counter, though it was the hosts who were unquestionably more dangerous after the restart.

On the hour, Marchetti fisted clear Di Natale’s free kick, before being caught in no man’s land by Basta. The Udinese man somehow rolled the ball wide of the post to let Lazio and Marchetti off the hook. The goalkeeper redeemed himself a minute later, blocking a point range stop with his feet after Piotr Zielinski unlocked the Lazio defence following a neat one-two with Di Natale.

Udinese: Brkic; Benatia, Danilo, Domizzi; Basta, Allan, Lazzari, Gabriel Silva; Zielinski, (Badu 85) Pereyra; Di Natale (Ranegie 80)

The encounter got underway at a frantic pace and Genoa had a crucial lead in the sixth minute. A free kick from the left-hand side was floated in by Matuzalem and Antonio Floro Flores easily got the better of Cristian Del Grosso at the back post to head in and give the home fans a dream start.

Atalanta coach Stefano Colantuono was sent to the stands for constantly berating the referee, meaning that Atalanta would have to go the final half hour without him barking orders from the touchline.

Inter Milan Injuries and Suspensions

Parma Injuries and Suspensions

The Little Pharaoh will almost, certainly, positively start this week -- and he’s going to be hell bent on scoring, too. With just one goal since Balo arrived at Milan, El Shaarawy might be feeling a bit overshadowed. From the moment he stepped on the pitch to face Napoli, he was making runs and putting himself in good positions. If he’s even more fired up after his time on the bench and goes on to secure the win for Milan, Allegri really might be a genius.

*This is probably not a phrase. But it should be.