Serie A 2013, Week 37: Palermo and Siena join Pescara in falling to Serie B

Hello, and welcome to another edition of “Pointless Games in Serie A”. Even before the whistle blew to start the match, Siena had been relegated. Genoa’s goalless draw with Inter kept the rossoblu safe, pushing Siena down in the process. With Napoli having secured second place midweek, they too had nothing to play for.

So Napoli fans weren’t too concerned when Edinson Cavani hit the woodwork twice inside three minutes. El Matador had a seven-goal lead on Antonio Di Natale prior to the match, so barring some insanity from Toto, there’s no way he wouldn’t clinch the capocannoniere. And one little off match wasn’t going to bring down the offering price for Cavani.

Halfway through the first half, Floccari spurned a chance to double the advantage. Klose threaded through, only to see the forward fluff his lines and loft the ball over the onrushing Junior Da Costa and wide of the post.

Three minutes before half time, an Icardi snapshot deflected off Biava and rattled the crossbar.

Maxi Moralez then went close to doubling the advantage, his shot whistling just wide of Brkic’s left hand post after good work from the Argentine winger to make space for the shot in the box.

Atalanta threatened again, Luigi Giorgi exchanging passes with De Luca to break into the box, his initial effort blocked by Maurizio Domizzi and the second attempt shanked well over by Parra when in a good position.

Genoa started the second half much like they ended the first. Juan Manuel Vargas guided a weak header off the ground into Handanovic’s gloves when only yards from goal, before Borriello sent an ambitious bicycle kick wide.

Unsurprisingly, the game petered out as news broke of Palermo’s defeat. At the final whistle, the Genoa players threw their strips into the crowd and celebrated with their families as a wave of joy and relief spread over the Marassi.

It is an uncertain future for the Sicilians.

Both of these sides have been in good form lately and hopes are high for an entertaining contest. Roma struggled in midweek against Chievo’s packed five man defence but Milan will undoubtedly come forward more than the Flying Donkeys, hopefully leaving Roma a bit of space to operate in and affording both sides the opportunity to attack.

Milan injuries and suspensions

Lazio injuries and suspensions

Out: Michael Ciani, Ederson, Stefano Mauri (injured) Abdoulay Konko, Andre Dias (in doubt)

Genoa injuries and suspensions

Out: Cesare Bovo, Damiano Ferronetti, Marco Rossi, Ruben Olivera, Cristobal Jorquera (injured)

But look on the bright side -- you’re likely to get very good odds betting on Siena’s survival.

The visitors haven’t scored a single goal in their last four matches, much less picked up a point. Yet there’s one shiny, sparkly, so-thin-it’s-translucent silver lining: Napoli sewed up second place with their win over Bologna on Wednesday. They’ve bypassed the Champions League qualifiers and will be waiting to see their name pulled out of the hat come August 29. And judging from all the champagne being sprayed around in the plethora of photos available after the midweek match, well, it’s quite likely the partenopei are still suffering from a collective hangover.

So this is a match that happened. And if you aren’t a fan of either Cagliari or Juventus, you probably didn’t even notice that they were playing out the early Serie A game. We all know the Old Lady already bagged the scudetto, so their only interest was in keeping their noses clean. As for Cagliari, their 43 points and 12th place position made them perfectly safe, and they had no incentive to really break down the champions.

But hey, at least we were treated to the sight of the Juventus players walking out accompanied by their own adorable children. How do footballers produce such beautiful little creations? Alas, it was unfortunate that no childless player decided to grab Seba and use him as a stand-in. Click here for more jokes that I shamelessly steal and use as my own.