World Cup 2015: USA beats Germany 2-0, advances to World Cup final

Hahahaha Hope Solo admitted she stalled to mess with Celia Šašić‘s head before her stunning, critical penalty miss during the USWNT’s 2-0 win at the Women’s World Cup semifinal.

I would love to share with you guys my mindset but unfortunately — or fortunately — we have one more game going into the final. I did the stall tactic. It worked.Šašić’, the top goal-scorer in the Women’s World Cup, was unable to give Germany a 59th-minute lead.

On the penalty that Germany won, Julie Johnston should have seen a straight red card. Denial of a clear goal-scoring opportunity calls don’t get any more obvious than this one.

But Johnston was spared, with the referee showing her just a yellow. Then Celia Šašić -- the leading scorer in this tournament and this season’s UEFA Champions League -- missed her penalty wide to Hope Solo’s right.

The World Cup semifinal between the United States and Germany was played in Montreal, but based on the atmosphere at the end of the game, it sure sounded like the USWNT was playing South of the Canadian border.

U-S-A! U-S-A!

It didn’t take long at all to realize that this was a match between the first- and second-ranked teams in the world. Scoring chances came early for both sides before the match flipped to a heated, back-and-forth affair that showcased just how good these two teams are.

While possession and quality of chances tended to favor the United States, there was no doubting the quality of the German team either. The two sides played almost to a standstill, the sheer quality of both teams almost cancelling each other out.

Great delivery from Carli Lloyd and a wonderful finish from O’Hara have the United States close to punching their ticket to the World Cup final.

Germany had a chance to take a lead against the United States on a penalty kick. They failed. The United States was given the same opportunity and Carli Lloyd capitalized by burying the shot to put the USA up 1-0 in the 69th minute.

The United States earned the penalty kick when Alex Morgan drew a foul. Whether it should have been a penalty could be debated as it appeared the foul occurred when Morgan was just outside of the box. The referee, however, immediately pointed to a spot in the box.

Celia Šašić, one of the best finishers on earth, stepped up to the spot for Germany and inexplicably missed wide.

Two bullets dodged for the USWNT in one play.

Here’s the collision.

If you’ve been crying out for the United States to switch it up in the Women’s World Cup, you finally have your wish. Not only has Jill Ellis decided not to kick any of Carli Lloyd, Lauren Holiday or Morgan Brian out of her lineup, but she hasn’t dropped Tobin Heath either. She’s playing one true striker in the semifinal against Germany.

What does this mean? Well, that’s not entirely clear. The most likely scenario is that this is a 4-3-3 formation with Brian holding behind Holiday and Lloyd. It’s also possible that the USWNT is sticking with their usual 4-4-2 formation, but Holiday has been moved into a second striker role. She used to play there occasionally for the national team, and regularly fills that role for FC Kansas City.

We’re required to remind you that these strong takes are SATIRE. Sorry, not sorry. All spelling errors are intentional, we think. -Ed.

Well its happening again ladies and gentleman. The US Womens National Soccer Team is meeting the Germans in tonights world cup semi-final. Now Im not one for soccer normally but anytime my nation takes on the pinko national SOCIALIST commie reds from China Germany I’m gonig to be drunk, I’m going to be loud, and I’m going to be drunk. There’s the door if your not rooting for the Red, White, and Blue today.

The really hard games have finally arrived. The United States are minor underdogs against Germany on Tuesday, and will need to play their best game of the tournament so far to make it to the Women’s World Cup final. Here’s what you should keep an eye on as the game unfolds to figure out what the USWNT are trying to accomplish and how well they’re pulling that off.

The right midfield spot has been in flux all tournament, and Jill Ellis has yet to figure out exactly what she should do with it. She’s used a true winger, a defensive winger, a central midfielder and a striker in that spot during the tournament, and it’s anyone’s guess what she does against Germany.

Tom Hanks is a soccer fan, a BIG soccer fan. Last year during the World Cup he took a whole bunch of photos supporting the team, and this year he’s obviously standing with the USWNT. So much so that they’ve given him his own player card.

The whole thing is filled with movie references, but let’s chat about this one shall we?

For the first time in a very long time, the United States are entering a Women’s World Cup semifinal as underdogs. The Americans are the No. 2 ranked team in the world, but their opponents, Germany, are No. 1. They’re also the reigning UEFA Euro champions and the leading scorers in this competition.

However, Germany haven’t quite lived up to expectations in this tournament -- they racked up those big goal totals against Thailand and the Ivory Coast. They drew Norway in the group stage, then appeared to find their form in the Round of 16 against Sweden, but got outplayed by France in the quarterfinal. Only some poor finishing by Les Bleus and a penalty shootout saved them.