Oh Goodness, This Sounds Terrifying

For the first time in weeks, the Red Sox have lost two consecutive games. When will this team’s suffering end? Over The Monster isn’t happy.

↵↵Freddy Garcia, bolts hanging out of his head and electricity coursing down his arms, threw them collectively down a well. Frankly, the less said about this travesty of a game, the better. Final: ChiSox 12, BoSox 2.

↵↵Clearly, New England sportswriting is at its best when it’s angry.