I was among the first to celebrate the John Wall Dance last fall, and I warned you a couple of Saturdays ago that it had become officially uncool. Now, I come to bury the John Wall Dance, not to praise it. Two things convinced me it was dead.
Here Lies the John Wall Dance, 2009-2010
First, DIME found a poorly executed "Do Da John Wall" song on YouTube. Sure, the rapper's from Raleigh, like Wall, and he does get points for crafting a catchy chorus around the dance and retelling Wall's freshman year in rhyme. But his half-hearted iteration of the dance itself and the no-budget production values of the video, which was apparently filmed at a deserted public park pavilion, combine to make this an ultimately embarrassing exaltation.
Then, Magic Johnson took the opportunity to put the "Y" in "Kentucky" to mean that he had to do the dance. Wait: the greatest Michigan State player of all time took part in another storied school's tradition and its silliest current one? I know Kentucky and Michigan State aren't technically rivals, but this certainly seems a little weird. I'd imagine seeing that, for Michigan State fans who remember the Magic era vividly, it feels like what Tim Tebow dotting the "i" in Script Ohio would feel like for me.
In any case, a craze that inspires both bland music and sports bigamy from a legend has clearly passed the point of no return. So I'm calling it: the time of death on the John Wall Dance was around 11:34 p.m. last night, or when SportsCenter replayed Johnson doing the dance for the second time, whichever came first.
Be on the lookout for dozens of zombie versions of the John Wall Dance during the NCAA Tournament. They are dangerous, and eat brains.
(HTs: DIME/Intentional Foul and The Dagger.)
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