The NFL’s Commercials: What They’re Really Saying
Coors Commercial: “Football! Beer! Tits! Football! Big Hits! Tits! Football! America!”
Chevy Commercial: “Football is America. Are you American? Then drive a truck, p—y.”
Actual line from NFL-themed Extenze commercial: “Go long with Extenze!”
Deleted line: “Enhance your weapons so you can take advantage of that tight end right there.” [camera pans to Tight End, standing next to cheerleader turned around, bending over].
[Cut to Jimmy Johnson in his boxers, grinning, engorged] “Right up the middle, baby!”
Peyton Manning Commercial: “See that mustache, America? Peyton Manning is funny!”
“Football” by John Cougar-Camp: “Football! MEN! America! Jesus! Making out with men? F**k the Cowboys! Obama’s a gay! Trucks! Domestic abuse? Only on Sundays in America.”
(Note: This would be the greatest album title ever, Toby Keith.)
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