Reggie Says It’s Time For Reggie To Make A Move

Reggie Bush: Reggie Bush may be a disappointment to some of the haters, but will anybody on earth star in a picture that’s half as cool as that one?

Matt Leinart: So, so, SO sick brah!

Bush: Reggie’s career’s been a “disappointment” to some, but how many people out there have won a Super Bowl?

Drew Brees: That’s right, baby! We did it last year, and we’re going to do it again in 2010!

Bush: Well whatever about all that. But Reggie’s Q rating is through the roof right now.

Brees: Q rating? [cures cancer, saves baby]

Bush: Let’s break it down... In college, Reggie was the biggest football star in Los Angeles

Brees: Los Angeles doesn’t have pro a football team.

Bush: Reggie dated a Kardashian.

Brees: Which was weird, because she’s not that good looking.

Bush: Reggie’s done Subway.

Brees: You want to go work on routes? Our checkdowns could use some polishing.

Bush: Reggie’s done Adidas.

Brees: What do you mean by “done”?

Bush: Commercials. Reggie’s done Red Bull.

Bush: Reggie was on the cover of NCAA College Football, which was a hilarious inside joke.

Brees: I went to Purdue.

Bush: What I’m saying now is... Reggie actually won something!

Brees: No, Drew actually won something. You helped. A little.

Bush: Reggie’s gotta capitalize! [turns on Entourage, sees Jerry Jones] OH HELL YEAH!

Brees: What?

Bush: New Orleans was never the best fit anyway. Underdog city, overachieving team.

Brees: Yeah, it’s great.

Bush: Nah, it’s not. [puts on $1,200 sunglasses, leaves]

Bush: Reggie’s goin’ to Dallas. [calls Jerry Jones on Bentley car phone]

Jerry Jones: Hell, a star like you, we’d love to have you!

Bush: I have a feeling it’d be mutually beneficial.

Jones: Me too, son. Me too. Could mean big expectations, but it’d mean big money, too.

Bush: Yes sir, and Reggie’s ready for those expectations. Reggie’s used to ‘em.

Jones: [sips whiskey] Yessir. Hell, you’ve been falling short of unrealistic expectations for your entire career! Here, even if we choke, though, we’re all winners. This is America’s team.

Bush: (thinking) It’s certainly a tempting opportunity.

Leinart: [wakes up, in backseat] DO IT BROOOOO! It’ll be just like college!