Twitter has become an essential tool if you’re looking to find out what your favorite team is doing. Are they trading player X? What does the front office think of player Y’s future? It’s entertaining if not outright hypnotizing especially during a trade deadline.
Which pro athlete would you pick to break the news that you got a new job?
Athletes can report news too.
But while it’s fun for the folks who aren’t directly connected to a franchise, it can be rough for the players involved. There have been instances where a player gets traded and people find on Twitter find out before that player does, which sucks.
And now players are turning the tables. This offseason, NBA players have been breaking news about reporters heading to a new jobs. It began with Damian Lillard, who teased there would be more news in the future. Derrick Favors is the most recent player to put their reporter hat on.
With the roles changing, that got us thinking: which pro athlete would you pick to break the news that you got a new job?
Joel Embiid - Hector Diaz
Embiid is undeniably good at social media. Whether its trolling through an instagram geotag or just a normal tweet reacting to the news like he was any other fan, he knows how keep people entertained. Remember when he played against the Lakers? He posted a photo of himself knocking down Lonzo Ball after a win and the best part is that he tagged the location as ‘Lavar.’
That’s why I would want him to announce my next move. It would probably come in the form of an instagram post, and would include a simple photo of me. But the more you look at it, you’d be able to catch the small details that’ll show those in the know that this isn’t just a photo. It’s a carefully crafted statement. Trust the process will probably also be included as a hashtag.
Cam Newton - James Dator
So here’s the deal: This is really a two-part benefit as far as I’m concerned. I live in North Carolina, so there’s an immediate impact from Cam delivering the news that would make it resonate with the people who need to know, but really there’s a more secret joy.
Have you ever seen how Cam Newton writes in his Instagram posts? The dude has his own nearly-unintelligible, completely befuddling font that might as well look like dwarven runes. I love it because people would assume it wasn’t a simple job announcement, but an alternate reality game with a hidden riddle — if only you follow the clues. So, keeping this in mind, here’s how an announcement would be if I decided to take my talents to the West Carolina Raccoon Hospital.
»>jâmësDÅTØRhâsJØ1NËDthëWË$T
cârølįñâRÅ€ØØNhøspįtâlÅNDįsËX€1TËD
førH1$fütürë<«
And I’ll have you know I just spent 99 cents on Cam Newton’s txt app so I could write that. Don’t say I never did anything for you.
De’Anthony Thomas - Harry Lyles Jr.
Thomas doesn’t tweet with the same vigor as he used to, but I would still want him rolling out my red carpet for me.
A few examples:
“HARRY GOT A JOB”
These are only three examples, and they’re all athletes from two of the three major sports in the United States. A few other responses go beyond that, into the world of pro wrestling — because of course you want to find someone who can cut the best promo for you:
And then there’s this one. Look, American Pharoah did respond to its ‘Sportsperson of the Year’ snub on this very site, so anything can happen:
