Considering Kerry Collins’ Hall Of Fame Candidacy As Seriously As Possible

Yes, that’s the just-retired Kerry Collins, the Steve DeBerg of the Radiohead years. All right. Fine. Let’s consider his case:

Let’s first acknowledge that it isn’t easy for a quarterback to make it into the Hall of Fame. The Hall, in fact, hasn’t inducted a quarterback since 2006. And the last five quarterbacks to make it in the Hall (discounting Benny Friedman, who played in the ‘30s) are Warren Moon, Troy Aikman, Steve Young, Dan Marino, and John Elway. Reminder: we are considering whether to place DEPENDABLE JOURNEYMAN KERRY COLLINS alongside these guys.

Of this group, Collins has the worst career quarterback rating by a considerable margin. He has thrown fewer touchdowns than any of them (aside from Aikman, who was concussed into early retirement). According to Pro-Football-Reference’s Approximate Value statistic, Collins is the only member of this group that isn’t in the top 200 (and four are in the top 30).

As we move to the non-statisticals, his candidacy doesn’t get any stronger. He wasn’t a one-team dude (for a quarterback, a leader of a team, to play for multiple teams suggests poor moral fiber!), he passed for 112 yards, zero touchdowns, and four interceptions in the only Super Bowl in which he played, and he will never endorse anything more exciting that windshield wiper fluid.

BUT: he’s 11th on the career passing yards list! Above Johnny Unitas! This is the point at which we must decide whether we’re trying to award our workers for achieving greatness or simply working overtime. If the latter is the case, then I guess Kerry Collins makes it in.

Sigh. I’m trying to find a nice and respectful way of saying, “I guess that’s fine, because Canton’s in northern Ohio and it’s not like I’m ever gonna go,” and I’m completely coming up empty. Sorry.