Premier League, Week 18: Chelsea thrash Villa at Stamford Bridge

Yes, that Stewart Downing. He of the ‘last Premier League assist on April 2nd, 2011’, ‘last Premier League goal on May 22nd, 2011’ and ‘20 million transfer to Liverpool two summers ago’.

Barely had the shock from Downing notching his first league assist for Liverpool worn off (it lasted about half an hour in my case) than he did one better, cutting in from the left flank and sending in a blistering effort that Schwarzer had no hope at all of keeping out. A goal and an assist for Downing? The rest of the match, which saw Suarez score in injury time to pad the scoreline to something like what the Reds’ display deserved, seemed to pass by as if in some dream.

But Everton committing bodies forward gave the Hammers space to break into, and they should have gone 2-0 up after Carlton Cole beat Heitinga and crossed for Mobida Maiga, who made a complete mess of his shot and allowed Sylvan Distin to deflect behind for a... goal kick.

Everton were quick to take advantage of Cole’s dismissal. Pienaar and Osman combined on the left side of Jaaskelainen’s box. The latter drove towards Collins and his low cross ended up deflecting through a tangle of legs -- it was probably a Matty Taylor own goal -- and trickled over the line to make it 2-1.

It was a strong start from the visitors as Stoke uncharacteristically pressed Tottenham fiercely, putting the home side under severe pressure and penning them back inside their own half for extended periods, but the Potters were unable to fashion any clear chances from their advantage.

Arsene Wenger would have been sympathetic of Wigan Athletic’s selection problems for this match, as last season the Arsenal boss was forced to field four centre-backs in a makeshift defence. On Saturday, Roberto Martinez had a surplus of full-backs, meaning his usual 3-4-3 formation was unlikely to feature.

Instead, the Wigan manager turned to a more orthodox four-man backline using Martin Figueroa and Emmerson Boyce in central defence. The defensive base of the side was easy to decipher, the rest less so, and the question of the Latics’ formation was an intriguing one.

There was an odd moment to follow as Franco Di Santo was forced to stay off the pitch for a few minutes after it was discovered he was still wearing an earring, but despite his short absence from the pitch, Wigan continued to press for an equaliser. Beasejour had the best chance, getting clear down the left channel, but he fired over with a half-cross-half-shot that really needed to be one or the other.

In the end, Arsenal managed to ride their luck and escape with all three points, but it had the resemblance of a smash-and-grab victory. The win will be a great relief to Arsenal supporters, but the performance will not. The opposite is true of Wigan, who were largely excellent but their performance was also characteristically error-strewn - the reason they are in a relegation battle.

If you can think of anything interesting to say about a match between these two sides that features essentially standard lineups from both, you’re a better man than I. Tottenham Hotspur vs. Stoke City. Knock yourselves out.

Liverpool injuries and suspensions

Match Date\Time: Saturday, 5:30 p.m. local, 12:30 p.m. ET

Sorry Reading fans but your team is simply not very good.

From City’s perspective they simply need to win to ensure they keep pace with whatever United does and get some confidence back after their disappointing derby result. Anything other than a 3 or 4 goal whitewash for City would be a shock.

If they don’t, the concerns will continue to mount and the questions will continue to be asked. If they do, they could find themselves right back in the Top 4...what a silly sport this is.

Wigan sit in 17th, stuck in the relegation zone thanks to goal differential. They aren’t expected to beat Arsenal but any result in this match would be a big boost for the Lactics.

DW Stadium; Saturday, 12:45 GMT/7:45 AM ET

Without a win since November 24th and having taken just 10 points from the last 30, Wigan’s positive start has been all but erased and they find themselves in the bottom three once again. Arsenal’s struggles this season have been rather well documented, but they’re won their last two impressively and sit just two points behind Spurs, comfortably within reach of their Champions League goal. There’s little doubt this game will be fairly nice to watch, but it shouldn’t really be close. If it is, expect the chorus of dissatisfied Arsenal fans (and those that delight in their misery) to grow louder.

Pick: Arsenal, 3-1

Etihad Stadium; Saturday, 15:00 GMT/10:00 AM ET

Is playing this game really necessary? It just doesn’t seem to be in keeping with the holiday spirit. Unless of course City find some way to not win, in which case it will be a gift that reflects the meaning of the season.

Pick: City, 3-0