Everton capture giant striker

Everton’s forward line is about to get even more physically imposing. The Toffees, fresh off an unfortunate 4-0 loss at Anfield, have some good news for their fans today: They’ve completed the loan signing of 6’8” Monaco centre forward Lacina Traore.

Yes, 6’8”. The man is a giant:

Traore has been handed the #28 shirt, which is coincidentally the number of Leighton Baineses you’d have to pile on top of each other to match his height. Unfortunately, he probably won’t be ready to start long before Romelu Lukaku returns from his injury, which will leave Everton a bit light on strikers for the first few weeks of February, but after that we could see a duo that can absolutely wreck even the most physical of defenders.

Don’t try to pretend like you don’t want to see that happen.