Serie A Monday: Pepe The Hero As Juventus Triumph At Lazio

Much of the match can be easily summed up. Lazio kept the ball in the Juventus half, attempting shots but finding them blocked by the fifteen black and white kits standing guard in front of Gigi Buffon’s goal. Juventus would then gain possession, but proceeded to simply pass the ball around the midfield for awhile before losing it to one of the Lazio players. Meanwhile, Nando Muslera sipped coffee and read a spy novel in front of his net.

Yet even Juventus had to be surprised at the manner in which they got their goal. A cross came into the box and Luca Toni decided he wanted to play the hero, making an attempt to control the ball. Instead it sort of bounced off his boot and into the path of Simone Pepe, who took a low shot from just outside the area. The ball took a deflection off Lionel Scaloni and bounced into the back of the net, with Muslera caught diving the wrong direction.

After the huge amount of work that Lazio have put into this match, spending the vast majority of their time in the Juventus half, it seems almost unfair that they should be denied any points. Then again, you’d also think that by this point in the season, the Lazio players would have learned to control their tempers.

Cristian Ledesma has been sent off with a second yellow card, earning big bucks for anyone who had 81 minutes in the pool -- the pool being “When will the first Lazio player be sent off against Juventus?” of course. The sending off was in fact rather harsh, with Ledesma barely clipping the heels of Felipe Melo. Felipe Melo did nothing to defeat the stereotype of Brazilians as diving cheats, going to ground easily after barely a touch.

With Lazio down to ten men, will Juventus finally get forward? Edy Reja has taken off Mauro Zárate, undoubtedly Lazio’s best attacking player, and replaced him with midfielder Mark Bresciano in what is clearly a maneuver designed to grab just a point out of this match. Finally Juventus are attacking, but will the Old Lady manage to pull three points out of nowhere? Will Luca Toni be the Old Lady’s savior once again?

The kick was followed by a fair bit of attacking pressure by the Old Lady, by which I mean approximately sixty seconds of forward movement. The end result of a bianconero attempt in goal resulted in a collision between Fernando Muslera and one of his defenders, which begs the question -- if it were Matuzalém and Muslera colliding, would the universe implode? I say yes.

While Juventus easily cleared the ball, it had barely made it past the halfway line when once again Lazio regained possession. The visitors have no apparent desire to attack but would rather play out this miserable match as a scoreless draw. However, with the amount of time Lazio are spending in the Juve area, at some point, you have to think the ball’s going in.

But at least Lazio are attacking, which is more than one can say for Juventus.

To be fair to Juventus, Gigi Buffon hasn’t had a lot to do either, although Lazio have had their fair share of chances. The Juventus defense has been solid -- it’s keeping the ball long enough to form a coherent attack that is the problem. For some reason, the ball keeps getting played up the right flank, through Marco Motta. Considering Gigi Del Delneri’s tendency to replace the defender with Frederik Sorensen at earlier and earlier times, it’s a wonder that Motta even starts at all.

Mauro Zarate had his first shot in the first minute, although Gigi Buffon was able to easily save it. Hernanes then followed with another attempt, but it went wide of the Juventus goal.

Alessandro Matri finally made an attempt at Fernando Muslera’s goal, but the flag was up. It seems as though Maybelline is permanently offside.

Lazio will remain in fourth place in Serie A no matter what the outcome of their match with Juventus, thanks to yet another spectacular Udinese meltdown at the hands of (of all clubs) Fiorentina. But thanks to a last-minute comeback from Aleandro Rosi and Roma on Sunday against Bari, Lazio are now in danger of losing their Champions League qualifying position to their rivals. Only all three points will keep them feeling safe.

Lazio bench: 12 Berni, 5 Scaloni, 81 Del Nero, 23 Bresciano, 15 Gonzales, 9 Rocchi, 18 Kozak

Surprisingly, the opening goal went to Bari, with Bentivoglio converting the penalty after Roma defender Juan made the wise decision to use his hand to stop a ball inside the area. Still 11-v-11, however, so no great worries for Roma yet. Sure enough, just five minutes later, Roma were awarded a free kick in a dangerous position (as I’m legally obligated to call it while writing about football). Francesco Totti shot the ball around the Bari wall, while Jean-François Gillet sent a lot of Belgian curses at his teammates for not managing to be competent enough to construct a wall that actually, you know, blocks something. 1-1.

Just before the halftime interval, Erik Huseklepp scored his first goal in Serie A, getting his head on the end of a cross from Jaime Romero. Another spectacular failure of the Roma defense, and one had to wonder what Vincenzo Montella was going to say to his team over the halftime cappuccino. Although the greater mystery may have been what on earth the Roma coach had elected to wear to work that evening -- a jacket apparently styled upon the fashions of early 19th century seamen.

AS Roma had the chance to find the winner against Bari after Marco Borriello was hauled down inside the area, but for once, Francesco Totti was not perfect. The Roma captain, who’d already scored courtesy of a free kick and an earlier penalty, decided to put the shot in in exactly the same manner as his earlier penalty. Jean Francois Gillet took a chance and dove the correct way, pushing Totti’s shot away from goal to keep the match even at 2-2.

The numbers have evened up as well. Daniele De Rossi was sent off early in the second half for an elbow to the head of Simone Bentivoglio, but Bari are now down to ten as well. Defender Kamil Glik was sent off for the foul on Borriello, or possibly for whining about the penalty award, or maybe even both. Whatever it was, can Roma find a last minute goal from open play? Or will they require a set piece?

With thirty minutes left to play, Roma will have a point if they manage to hold on. But for a team with Champions League positions, will a point be enough?

Is anyone actually able to keep count, anymore, of the number of times AS Roma midfield Daniele De Rossi has been shown a straight red for an elbow to an opposing player’s head? This time the victim was Simone Bentivoglio (alas, while he was down on the ground waiting for ice, no medics came running with hot wax to take care of those eyebrows). DDR first slapped Bentivoglio in the neck, then chased him down hanging on to the back of his kit. A foul and a free kick, certainly, but once De Rossi drew even with the Bari player, he elected to elbow him in the neck. Perhaps he is also offended by the state of his eyebrows?

No matter the motivation, Roma are now down to ten men, and have brought on Rodrigo Taddei in place of Mirko Vučinić in hopes that they can at least snatch an equalizer and a point.

After the equalizer, Roma have looked the dominant side, perhaps remembering that they’re meant to be the team challenging for a chance at the Champions League.

Simone Bentivoglio stepped up to take the penalty, ignoring my entreaties to please, please employ a personal eyebrow waxer. But when you’re able to put your side ahead with a low shot down the middle that sends Doni flying the wrong direction, well, I suppose it’s ok to have ungroomed eyebrows. Still, he should consider indulging in a few salon services.

Nothing doing, though, as Fiorentina decided to score as many goals against Udinese as they have in their last four matches combined. Alessio Cerci put in another in the 71st minute, but decided he’d like a little dessert as well, bagging his second just a few minutes before the final whistle.

This match had absolutely nothing going on before the break, which wasn’t too surprising, given Brescia’s tendency to drag around a giant bus on their travels. After the whistle, the players remembered that perhaps they didn’t want to hang out in Serie B next season, and started peppering the goals on both ends. Eder kicked it off in the 50th minute, but Sampdoria pulled one back within three, Nicola Pozzi off a cross from Jonathan Biabiany. Brescia fought back, Andrea Caracciolo putting the visitors in the lead again minutes later. Again, Samp, who looked like they were resigned to relegation just a couple weeks ago, answered almost immediately, with a shot from Fernando Tissone.

Meanwhile, Bologna hasn’t taken a shot since February, and they possibly haven’t touched the ball since March. Milan are boring.

Instead of failure from the presumptive scudetto winners, Flamini has already impressed with an easy goal. The Frenchman took the ball past Bologna defender Miguel Britos, who was caught entirely wrong-footed, to go one-on-one with keeper Emiliano Viviano. Viviano did well to block Flamini’s first shot, but the midfielder picked up the rebound to put it easily in the back of the net.

Fortunately for Bologna, sitting in 12th, there’s nothing left to play for except pride. And possibly the desire to not hand over the trophy when there are still three matches left to play.

Napoli have...issues...with winning when manager Walter Mazzarri is forced to remove his glasses. Will this match be any different? Or will the rain manage to be the twelfth man?

It may be pouring, but we’ve got winking mascots so already this match is off to a good start.

Napoli Starting XI: De Sanctis, Cannavaro, Campagnaro, Aronica, Maggio, Dossena, Gargano, Pazienza, Hamsik, Lavezzi, Cavani

The match started off surprisingly even. The visitors were certainly able to put a fair amount of pressure on the Cesena defense, but the backline stood firm in front of Francesco Antonioli, even getting in a few shots of their own on the other end. It may not have been pretty (particularly when the camera zooms in on Lucio) but the Seahorses were likely thrilled to go into the break locked in a scoreless draw.

Imagine, then, their excitement when Inter allowed them to control the match for the first ten minutes, basically letting Cesena play around in the Inter box. Persistence, or perhaps shoddy defending, payed off in the 56th minute, when an unmarked Igor Budan got on the end of a Luca Ceccarelli cross, with Luca Castellazzi only able to get a finger on it as it flew into the back of the net. 1-0 Cesena, and they just needed to defend for the next 33 minutes.