NFL, Week 7: Live Coverage, scores, highlights and more

This is presented strictly as PARODY, but that doesn’t dilute the strength of these takes. All spelling errors are intentional (we think). Don’t like it? There’s the door. - Ed.

Special Note: After writing this,, I was alerted by SB Nations own Bolts From The Blue that Danny Woodhead may/mayn’t be selling newspapers today for charity.

Ouch!

On Sunday Kiffin finally got his revenge on Kelly for all those losses at USC. It was in a game to decide the leader of the NFC East, no less. Not only did his defense shut out the Eagles for a half for the first time in Kelly’s head coaching career, they also held them to a measly three points for the whole game.

We have reached that point of the season where Bears fans are openly calling for the team to sign Brett Favre and people are monitoring JaMarcus Russell’s weight. Crappy quarterback after crappy quarterback has seen playing time this year.

Cause of Death: Without his top two wide receivers, Matt Ryan had the most touchdowns, the highest yards per attempt figure, and the second best completion percentage of any game he’s played this year. If you’re one of the teams that didn’t get Tampa on your schedule this year, you should sue the league. America is supposed to be a fair place, dammit.

I love that a team built around Andy Reid and Alex Smith* is 7-0 and the last undefeated team in the NFL. Reid and Smith: two effective but flawed cast-offs who wore out their welcomes by being themselves in the same place too long. Reid coached the Eagles to four consecutive NFC title games (and five in 14 years), but won only one of those and lost the ensuing Super Bowl. As the years went on, fans -- perhaps rightly -- focused on his predictability and poor clock management rather than his past success.

(*Yes, yes: the team is built around its talented defense. I see you, knowledgeable football fan. Let me enjoy the narrative for a moment.)

After the game, Luck was contrite speaking with Peter King at Monday Morning Quarterback.

Luck’s pass was most certainly underthrown, as you can see from the GIF below. Whether he deserves the blame he is apparently heaping upon himself is another question. Bad throws and knee injuries off awkward foot plants are a regular occurrence in football. Luck doesn’t have a history of being an erratic passer either. Sometimes freak injuries occur.

According to multiple sources, Bradford suffered a torn ACL after being pushed out of bounds late in the Rams’ 30-15 loss at Carolina. Although Rams officials have not officially commented on the diagnosis, a torn ACL would end Bradford’s season and require 6-9 months of recovery following surgery. QB Kellen Clemens would be in line to get the start next Monday night against Seattle, with Bradford expected to make a full recovery for the start of the 2014 season. Check out video of the injury on our YouTube channel.

Foster left the Texans’ 17-16 loss at Kansas City after suffering a hamstring injury after just four carries. Foster has a history of hamstring injuries - he missed two games in the 2011 season with one - and was held out of practice this past Thursday due to a similar issue. Hamstring injuries are particularly prone to reinjury if not completely healed prior to participating in athletic activities, and so the Texans’ upcoming bye week comes at a good time for Foster.

The weekly power rankings.

We have nine more weeks to figure it out.

The NFL’s Week 7 slate helped spread light on some key divisional races, but here are the takeaways that will determine how Sunday’s teams operate moving forward.

It was hard to be an NFL fan without hearing about Peyton Manning’s return to Indianapolis. But at least one Colts player may not have known it was even happening.

Cornerback Vontae Davis, after playing a large role in knocking off the previously undefeated Broncos, admitted that he’d spent the entire week preparing for a completely different passing attack -- that of Tom Brady:

Week 7 in the NFL is anchored by Sunday night’s Broncos-Colts matchup in Indy, but several desperate teams try to salvage their seasons in eight early games.

Buccaneers 23, Falcons 31 (Full coverage)

While trying to make a tackle, Bailey appeared to tweak his foot and immediately came up gimpy. The training staff came out and attended to him, and he is now receiving treatment on the sidelines.

Against Andrew Luck and the Colts, Bailey’s absence could prove to be big on Sunday night. Despite their perfect 6-0 record, the Broncos came into Week 7 ranking dead last in the NFL in pass defense. Granted some of that may be attributed to teams throwing the football against them while trying to catch up, but it’s still an issue nonetheless.

Hey, look, it’s Pat McAfee auditioning for the next edition of Crunch Course, coming soon to a pirate VHS tape.

That’s the Colts punter and kickoff man smacking into Trindon Holiday, the Broncos kick return man. Leading with the helmet is a little questionable, but, hey, what do those “stupid kickers” know.

Hall was injured in the first quarter of Sunday’s game while covering Lions’ wide receiver Calvin Johnson. Initially called an “Achilles injury”, its severity is as yet unconfirmed. With Hall out of the lineup Johnson caught nine passes for 155 yards and two touchdowns.

If Hall is lost for the season it would cause a huge weakness for Cincinnati’s secondary. Entering Sunday’s game he totaled 20 tackles, seven passes defended and one interception, but more importantly he was a much-needed veteran presence for the defense.

Here were some of the highlights of the pregame ceremony.

• NFL Week 7 updates, highlights and GIFs | Live NFL scoreboard

The Texans linebacker entered Week 7 with 44 tackles in six games, and was on pace for 117 tackles -- which would have been the highest since Cushing’s rookie season in 2009. Injuries have plagued him during the last two seasons, and it remains to be seen how quickly he can bounce back from this latest ligament tear.

• NFL Week 7 updates, highlights and GIFs | Live NFL scoreboard

Jim Irsay was right?

Stephen White [12:13 AM]:

Taking a page out of Ryan Fitzpatrick’s book, Smith catches the batted pass himself and tries to make something happen before being tackled for a loss. It’s a valiant effort, but the key to “the Fitzpatrick” is making the play work on the goal line.

Better luck next time Alex.

In the third quarter, the Texans got the ball back on a fumble by Charles. Garrett Graham took a pass from Keenum down to the 1-yard line, but Kansas City made a big goal-line stand and the Texans were forced to settle for a field goal.

Jamaal Charles continued his steady production for fantasy owners, recording 123 total yards on 24 touches.

Fantasy Studs and Duds

Injury Report

Troy Polamalu has gotten himself a reputation for his insanely impressive timing plays, where he somehow guesses the opposition’s snap count to make an unbelievable play. It’s like he has a sixth sense.

He tried it again Sunday on an extra point as the Ravens tried to tie the game at 16, but ... he was juuuuuuuust a bit early:

If nothing else, at least Brandon Weeden makes the Browns entertainingly horrible. Weeden started the first half against the Packers by completing two of his first 11 passes, mixing in an interception and posting a 1.7 quarterback rating.

Cleveland was noncompetitive in the first half, but it’s not quite the blowout you would expect in Green Bay. But down two scores, was there ever any question about whether Weeden could close the gap? The 30-year-old sophomore quarterback is a statue in the backfield, unable to evade anything and often hastily ejecting the ball from his possession.

Le’Veon Bell has become an interesting possibility after the rookie emerged today as a fantasy option.

Ray Rice struggled on the other hand, which has become all too familiar in 2013.

• NFL Week 7 updates, highlights and GIFs | Live NFL scoreboard

• Arian Foster aggravates hamstring injury

Cushing’s left leg bent back awkwardly when he was hit low while attempting to rush the passer. He’s been ruled out for the game.

He was later carted off the field and taken to the locker room.

The second-year running back left Sunday’s game against the Atlanta Falcons when he was hit in the end zone and fell hard on his elbow. That put pressure on his shoulder, and Martin was forced out of the game. He did not return.

Starting Martin before he’s fully healed could be a dangerous move on short rest because of how instrumental he is to the future success of the team, but it might be a necessity given the desperation the 0-6 Buccaneers find themselves in.